Aberration
by Metallic Ghost
Summary: There will be no war, he said. But there was, and it continued long after the shaky peace had presented itself. Inside the white walls, everyone remembers.
1. Night Shift

A/N: _Ahem. Yeah, I'm not dead! Whoo! This is another Gundam SEED story, because right now that seems to be the only thing I can write other than original fiction. Which is sad, very sad. I'm sorry. Aaaaanyway...updates on this may be sporadic (ha, like that's anything new, right?)because I'm really busy with homework after school. I'll try to make it interesting, and to update more (and quicker) than I do with my other story. I won't beg for reviews or anything, but it would certainly be wonderful to get some. Positive feedback/ constructive criticism is welcomed openly, because I'm most definitely NOT the greatest fanfic writer ever. Several other people on this site hold that title. _:) _Ah, I'm rambling. Enjoy the story; I won't say anything else._

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gundam SEED or any of the characters. The story setting probably doesn't belong to me, either. How tragic.

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_July 26_

It's late. I shouldn't be writing this. If they discover me...

There are rumors going around lately. I don't know if they're true or not. The others say that someone new is coming, someone who's never been in my position. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't know if I should be happy about this, either. Sure, it's another new friend, maybe, but how can they possibly understand me if they don't know what I've been through? I hope that whoever it is isn't like Jule. Oh, God, I hope...

Damn. Routine bed-check.

Okay. So, anyway. If the rumors aren't true (and they probably aren't, Elthman likes starting rumors just for a run) then it's just another lost game of hope and we don't get anybody.

But even if they are rumors, and not fact, they're a wish for me. I'm praying that they come true.

Ack. They're coming back around. Can't they ever leave us alone? It's not like the people in this ward would actually _do_ anything. We're nothing like the others...not like the ones in Section 7 or 10.

Ergh. Writing in the dark is so hard, even with my..._abilities_. I'll bet my lines aren't even straight. That's so annoying, but I guess it doesn't matter. As long as I can write. If any of the other orderlies find out that I have this journal, it'll be taken away and I won't get it back. I shouldn't even have this. But, it gives me a way to pass the time. Great; one hour down, fifteen more to go, every single day. Ugh...

Mom, Dad...I miss you. I hope you're faring better than I am right now. It's so lonely here.

God, I hate this place.

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_And there you have it. The first chapter. I'm not telling whose POV it's from...you can guess that for yourselves and you'll find out eventually. Muahaha. If you couldn't tell already, or didn't get it from the description on my profile, then you'll find out where exactly all these people are at, too, in the next chapter. Heh...oh by the way, there aren't any specific "years" (i.e. C.E. 71, 73, etc.) because that whole bit is just confusing to me and I'd probably screw it up. So you get dates instead._

_The title of this is a work-in-progress, also. If you like it, tell me. If not, tell me and then if you'd like to suggest an alternative, you're welcome to!_


	2. Discovered

A/N: _Second chapter, and those of you who find this interesting rejoice (maybe). I find it semi-interesting, not fully because I don't completely know what I'm doing right now. XD My fault. But oh, well. Not much to say this time. However, I will provide the definition of "aberration" for you all, because it's a long word. So, as quoted from _The New Merriam-Webster Dictionary _(meaning that the copyright is 1989, and the book is still in near-perfect condition save the yellowed pages )_:

**ab-er-ra-tion**- "1 deviation esp. from a moral standard or normal state 2 :unsoundness of mind 3: failure of a mirror or lens to produce exact point-to-point correspondence between an object and its image"

_The definition that applies to this story is not the last one, but could very well be the first or second. Your pick._

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam SEED. Unfortunate, eh?

**Spoilers in this chapter from a few episodes above 20...

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**

He flinched when the door opened and fluorescent light from the hallway spilled into the room, bringing an arm up more out of reflexive response than anything to shield his eyes from the sudden assault. He could hear two of the orderlies talking somewhere farther down the hall; one set of lights clicked off and he lowered his arm. The outline of the man standing in the doorway made him wince; caught red-handed. "Ah..."

The orderly sighed, resting one hand on the door panel and shaking his head. "_Again_, Yamato? I know you like writing, but honestly, during bed-checks and early in the mornings are the easiest times for you to get caught. I don't want to have to report you. Put that away and go to sleep, understand?"

It was remarkable, Kira thought, the fact that this man was the only person who knew about his late-night-early-morning habit, and the secret had never been spilled. He could have been reported a million times now, and yet he still had his book and his clean record. Kira was thankful that this particular orderly was the only one who ever went into his room. None of the other orderlies deemed it worthy of their time; most of them believed he was either mute or so insane that he was too lost to do anything but walk, eat, and sleep.

Thankfully, he was neither. He had said orderly to thank for that, too, because he was the one that kept Kira in check. Not that he really needed watch; Kira was normal and sane and in fact, not even sick. He was here "because you should recuperate from the war," as his parents put it.

Kira shoved the book under his mattress and fell onto his side, curling up under the warmth of the standard-issue gray comforter and tucking his hands beneath his chin. "Yes, I understand. I'm sorry." He closed his eyes.

The orderly made a small noise of approval and his shadow vanished from the floor, the light going with it as he shut the door and started down the hallway. Kira listened to his footsteps fading, hearing the last set of lights click off.

When everywhere was engulfed in dark and silence, Kira opened his eyes again and turned onto his back, locking his hands behind his head and sighing quietly as he gazed up at the heavens.

"_Hey, why do you look so sad? It's a sleep-over, we're supposed to be having fun!"_

_A sigh; normally calm green eyes were sad now. "Imagining stars isn't as fun as seeing the real thing..."_

_He paused quietly, hating to see his friend expressing such emotion but unsure of what he could say to make it better. Finally..._

"_...We could sleep outside..."_

_Imagining stars...you were right, as usual. _Kira closed his eyes and shifted under the covers, swallowing. "Athrun, I miss you," he whispered into the darkness, feeling more relaxed as sleep took him over. "I haven't seen you since the war."

"_There will be no war."_

"I wish there hadn't been," he mumbled, yawning. "We were friends for a time. Are...are we still on opposite sides...? Athrun..."

The world faded away.

* * *

"...Yamato? Kira!" 

Kira groaned and opened his eyes, automatically raising an arm to shield them until they adjusted to the brightness. "Nn...Lieutenant?"

Fraga stepped back and smiled. "Nah, kid. At least, not anymore." Something sad reflected in his gaze for a mere second and then vanished, leaving Kira to wonder if it had ever been there at all. The orderly extended a hand as Kira sat up. "Here."

Kira rubbed at his eyes tiredly and glanced down at the proffered hand, blinking. In it were two pills, a small, circular white one and a slightly larger, oval-shaped blue one. He sighed, reaching out to take them and popping them in his mouth. "Same thing, every day..."

"I know. But hey, at least you know what's what. There are worse things in life," the blue-eyed orderly replied, the smile still there.

"Like the war, you mean. I never knew what was going to happen back then," Kira muttered, sliding out of bed and standing up, walking over to the window to gaze out at the lovely view of the building hiding the landscape.

"Hey, hey," Fraga warned, serious. "We're not going to talk about that, understand? It's an event that's come and gone, and-"

"But it hasn't." Kira whirled on him, his eyes lighter with sudden annoyance. "The peace treaty may have been signed, but there are still people out there who hate us for what we've done, who we _are_..._what _we are." With the end of his sentence came a repressed shudder. Kira gripped his arms and turned back to the window, his eyes softening.

"Kira." Fraga sighed, coming up beside the teenager and placing a hand on his shoulder. "This is why you're here in the first place, you know. Your parents said when I last spoke to them that they were afraid the war had-"

"They're _afraid _of this _place_!" Kira snarled, gritting his teeth and shrugging off the hand on his shoulder angrily. "They put me here because...because..."

Fraga watched with concern as Kira's face twisted into an enraged frown; the kid couldn't find a reason. He sighed again. "Kira," he repeated quietly, but Kira cut him off.

Kira was tense with anger, the hands gripping his arms tightening so that the fingers pressed hard into the skin. He didn't seem to notice. "They put me here. They did it. It...it's their fault I'm suffering!" he cried. "It's their fault!"

"_Kira_!" Fraga shouted.

Kira spun angrily. "What!" He stopped, startled, when he saw nothing but the room, and he blinked. "Ah...where...?"

When two fingers pressed slightly on the back of his neck, just below where the vein was, Kira drew a quiet breath, tensing involuntarily when he realized the former Lieutenant was behind him.

During the war, a short while ago in both memory and reality, he had discovered quite a bit. Weakness, he had learned, could and would always be used to the enemy's advantage. The tricks to keeping it abstract were large in number and could go on for a very long time, depending on a person's creativity. Kira's method had been, he thought now, some sort of cross between hiding his emotions (difficult to keep up, but easy to manage for even the simplest of people) and keeping his mind on other aspects of life, like...well, there honestly hadn't been much to think about back then except war, the constant battles on and off the field. Kira had also learned that denying the truth doesn't save anyone or anything at all. It was the reason that young Zaft pilot, a friend of Athrun's, had died (and at his own hands, no less; he still felt sick just thinking about it), and the reason that Athrun had taken Tolle's life in return. Retribution is never a pleasant prospect, no matter how satisfying it may be at the time. In war, it's almost necessity.

"You need to calm down," came Fraga's voice, calm and collected and so much of what his was not at the moment, and it brought him out of the past and back to the present. "The medicine's no good if you get so emotional you make yourself sick."

_It's happened before_, Fraga mused in his head, keeping his sky-blue eyes locked on the messy brown head in front of him.

Kira released the breath he'd been unconsciously holding, slumping as the anger faded into the background. "I hate it here," he mumbled quietly, his way of apologizing for the abrupt outburst.

"I know." Fraga released him, walking out of the room and adding, "Get dressed, breakfast is ready," before shutting the door behind him.

Kira sighed and walked over to the closet, sliding the door open and staring at the three pairs of pressed white shirt and black pants before turning his gaze to the other side of his wardrobe, where his "civilian" clothes hung. The shirt and pants he had worn the day he found himself inside the Strike mobile suit were long gone; he'd gotten rid of them after the war because they were representative of his entire role in the war.

The hand still gripping the door tightened slightly. Thinning his lips, Kira reached up and pulled down a blue long-sleeved shirt and brown pants, and the door snapped shut on the rest of his wardrobe- standard E.A. suit included.

Hey, nobody ever said all the memories had to go.

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A/N: _Did I forget to mention that Mwu la Fraga still lives in this story? I love 'im too much to kill him off. XD He was just so awesome..._


	3. Morning Talk

A/N: _Another chapter, apparently. I have an idea, it came to me at dinner. You'll have to wait for it, though, because it doesn't show up until the "rumor" is proven true or false. Anyway, I don't have much to say here, so I'll just go ahead and present you with the chapter, eh? Reviews are welcome, and greatly appreciated, but not required. Thank you for reading!_

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I still don't own Gundam SEED or any of the characters. It would be lovely if I could claim the boys for a weekend, though. . . .

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Kira yawned as he walked down the opaque hallway, closing his eyes and taking long, lazy strides. It must not have been too early, because the sun was already peeking through the windows to cast monochromatic shadows on the floor. Kira glanced down, watching his footsteps. The shadows, he realized with a sad smile, never danced away as he treaded upon them; they never scooted to the left, or slid behind him.

"Hey! Kira!"

Recuperation? He should have been in for depression, more likely.

However, that wasn't his case. His case was, "recuperation from the war," which meant, of course, "staying here until we think you can handle the rest of the world." Hadn't he done that already?

"Kira! Wait up!"

Kira blinked and stopped, turning to face the brunette coming his way. He smiled again, this time genuine. "Hey, Mir."

Miriallia stopped beside him, offering him a bright smile. "Hello, Kira! How are you today?"

"Oh, the same as always, I guess," Kira replied calmly, as they began walking again. He glanced at Miriallia from the corner of his eye. She was dressed today in a light yellow skirt and a blue shirt that matched the color of her eyes. He frowned a little, looking forward again as she caught him looking.

"Is something wrong?" she asked curiously, blinking wide eyes. Such innocence in those eyes.

"Ah, no," Kira replied quickly, shaking his head as the smile returned. "I was just . . . admiring your color choices today."

"Hmm," and Miriallia looked down at her own clothes, frowning slightly. "Well, it sort of matches my mood. I guess that's no surprise, but . . . well . . . " She trailed off, firmly shaking her head. "Oh, whatever. It doesn't matter!" she laughed.

Kira nodded absently as they entered the recreation room, his violet eyes scanning the room for signs of people he knew.

Miriallia seemed to be in the institution for no other reason than her obsession with coding things. Kira found it a bit strange, honestly, because she'd never given him a reason no matter how many times he asked, and she certainly didn't seem to have any other problems. The only thing he found peculiar about her was her obsession. She enjoyed matching things, and a lot of times the colors she wore reflected her mood. Yellow meant cheerful, blue meant sad, red meant angry, pink meant . . . something, he couldn't remember..embarrassed? Purple meant thoughtful, green meant outgoing, black meant . . . oh no, there was no black in Mir's wardrobe. She had said something once about it not looking good on her. Kira personally thought she had that statement confused with the green- green did absolutely nothing for her. Wait, why was he–

–Oh, there was Sai.

"Sai!" he called, grinning as he walked over to the blond-haired teenager. Kira wrapped one arm around Sai's shoulders, startling him, then squeezed once and let go, stepping back. "Hey, how are you?"

Sai studied him from behind wire frames and then nodded once, turning back just in time to watch a boy he was playing cards with toss down a pair of tens.

"Yatzee! I win!" the green-eyed boy cheered ecstatically, flicking a strand of deep auburn hair out of his eyes. Kira couldn't remember his name; Kimley, or something like that. Sai shook his head, bemused, and set down the two of hearts and king of spades he'd been holding, not bothering to correct the boy on his flaw. They were playing Go-Fish . . .

"Sai, have you seen Tolle around?" Miriallia was asking, glancing around the room critically. "He was supposed to tell me something last night, but it got called on account of lights out."

Sai turned in his chair and pointed to the couch, where the brunette was lounging and watching a rerun of some soap with distaste. Miriallia thanked him and ran over, immediately engaging in conversation with the boy. Sai smiled sadly at the action, and Kira put a hand on his shoulder.

Sai was at the institution because he couldn't (or wouldn't?) talk. Autistic, the nurses called it. There was no medication for him except for his occasional headache, and sometimes something to help him sleep. Kira had once asked him why he never spoke, but Sai hadn't answered him; it was probably something to be expected. Sai was intelligent, very much so, and Kira had been at the institution long enough to have picked up on the fact that he communicated through emotions, actions, and, if it was urgent enough, paper and pencil.

Now, however, he just shook off Kira's hand with a slight glance at him as he stood up, not looking back as he left the room. Kira blinked, surprised, and turned his gaze toward the redhead, who was now working the cards back into the box. "Did I do something?" he asked, curious.

Kimley straightened up, box in one hand, and looked after the silent blond, frowning a little. "Don't think so," he replied. "Sai's been acting a little strange lately, y'know? Unwilling to talk much at all." At Kira's sidelong gaze, he hastily corrected, "Well, not like he usually does. Oh, you know what I mean." He glanced at the clock on the wall briefly and cringed. "Anyway, I'll see you around. My sessions start now."

"Okay, bye." Kira waved shortly as the boy hurried off in the direction Sai had gone, then sat down in a straight-backed wooden chair to gaze out the window.

He'd been right; it wasn't early at all. In fact, it was nine-thirty in the morning, which probably meant that he'd already missed most of breakfast. Surprising, for him; usually he was up and ready by six. He wasn't used to the way things had been back on the Archangel- oh, but it hurt to think about that- anymore, getting up and doing most things whenever he pleased; his schedule had been completely reset.

He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, tilting his head forward so his chin rested on his chest. It wasn't that he didn't like breakfast, because he didn't mind it at all. The food was actually acceptable, not contaminated with School Cafeteria Syndrome (_Cafeterius Educacionalus)_, and the people who served the food were kind and respectful. No, it wasn't that. It was more that most of the food had already been eaten. Going to breakfast now would mean getting whatever scraps were left.

The soft click-click of heels on polished, clean tiles made him shift uncomfortably. As the nurse passed, he held his breath; the sound reminded him of so much and so many. His mother, when she left for work or was participating in a special occasion; Captain Ramius, whenever she was off duty. His best friend's fiancee.

Speaking of, how was Lacus? He hadn't seen her much lately; in fact, not since she had accompanied Athrun on a visit a few weeks ago. Kira supposed she was relatively busy dealing with the aftermath of the war, and Athrun was probably helping her.

Athrun. Helping. He hadn't come last week, or the week before. Normally the green-eyed Coordinator showed up on the last day of every working week; it was unlike him to stay away. Briefly Kira wondered why, then shook his head minutely and sighed. Maybe he was just helping Lacus.

Or maybe he was injured, or maybe he was sick, or maybe he just didn't want to see Kira, or–

"Kira."

Kira opened his eyes only when the light hand rested on his shoulder gently. Amethyst eyes met crystal blue, and Kira didn't sum up the perfectly-happy smile that he usually used with those in his company. "Lieutenant Fraga."

Mwu sighed, smiling anyway. "I told you, I'm not a Lieutenant anymore," he joked in exasperation. "Just call me by my name."

Kira blinked. "Fraga," he murmured under his breath, as though trying it out, then shook his head in earnest. "But that just sounds so weird. I'm not . . . not used to that," he confessed, blushing a little. "Can't I just call you Lieutenant? Please?"

Fraga sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Well, all right, kid, but don't switch up on me then."

"Heh, I won't. Thanks."

"Sure." Fraga shrugged and jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward the counter beside the main office. Kira found the gestures amusing, but he was grateful for them, as well. Of all the nurses in the Institute, Fraga had to be the nicest and the most personal. It was probably why most of the patients were so familiar with him and liked him best. He'd told Kira once that he liked to "connect" with people in order to work with them. "Makes it easier," he'd said. Kira wholeheartedly agreed.

Still, that didn't keep the corners of his mouth from turning down into a frown when Fraga said, "You weren't at breakfast, kid, and it's that time of day."

"Shoot." Kira slumped in the chair and put a hand over his eyes, swallowing. "I know, I know. I woke up halfway through, and decided it wasn't worth it to go find what was left over."

This time it was the orderly's turn to frown. "Yamato, those pills work best when they're taken with some kind of food or drink." He straightened carefully and reached inside a pocket, grasping something and pulling it out, offering it to Kira. "Here."

Kira raised the hand away from his eyes and blinked, surprised. "You took food from the cafeteria . . . ?"

Fraga smiled. "It's one of those strawberry cake-things. I know you're not partial to them, but it was the closest thing I could get to leftovers that aren't gag-me-with-a-spoon. Besides, can't have you malnourished, or the ever-attentive Doctor Badgiruel will be on my butt. She knows I look out for you."

Kira barely repressed a shudder as he took the cake and opened it. Raising it to his lips, he muttered, "I don't like her. She's so strict, and she makes me nervous when I'm around her," before biting into the sweet.

Again, the orderly shrugged. "Well, I guess it's been that way since the war started. It was really hard to me to challenge her, those few times that I did, especially thinking of the repercussions. Getting chewed out by Officer Natarle Badgiruel is definitely not a fun time." He paused, as if in thought, then shook his head and smiled again. "Well, make sure you finish that cake, and then I want you to take those pills. Then you're free to do what you'd like until your sessions."

"All right." Kira nodded, swallowed. "Thanks for snagging this for me." He finished the strawberry cake and crumpled the plastic in a lax fist, watching as Fraga jogged down the hall to catch up with a redheaded nurse, engaging in a calm but obviously urgent conversation almost immediately.

Yawning, Kira sauntered over to the nearest trash can and threw the wrapper away, stretching and flinching a little when the spot where his shoulder and arm met twinged in dull pain. Frowning, he rubbed at it, and started out of the room, toward the medicine counter and his inevitable run-in with the doctor.

As he approached the counter, still rubbing at his shoulder, he was surprised to see not the female doctor with her hard purple eyes, but her understudy, Chandra. It was a nice relief, Kira thought, albeit strange. He didn't see the 23-year-old Natural very often. Chandra was really only a volunteer at the Institute; his allegiance was with OMNI, and he had said something once about his volunteering at the Institute being something of a side-job. When he did show up, it was usually on the weekends, because through the week he was preoccupied with whatever he did outside of life inside the white walls. Most likely it was something to do with the temporary peace that had settled over the earth; Chandra had worked with Sai in the ship's Combat Information Center, with the electronic warfare stations. He'd also kept track of the Archangel's civilian volunteers, and had been one of the few surviving original crew members of the Archangel. Now that the war was over, no doubt he was busy wrapped up in advancement of and giving permanence to the peace treaty that had been signed.

"Good morning, Kira," Chandra called, waving briefly as he glanced up from a document he'd been reading and flashing a smile. Kira smiled back as he reached the counter. "Just a sec." He pushed away from the counter in that black rolling chair that the doctor normally sat in, slowing to a stop before a set of drawers and opening one. Rifling briefly through the files, he found what he was looking for and pulled up a sheet of yellow paper, scanning it briefly before tucking it back into the file and pushing the drawer shut. Moving to another cabinet, he opened another drawer and peered into it, studying whatever was inside for a few minutes before reaching in and retrieving a plastic cup labeled with the initials, "K.Y." and "Monday" beneath it.

Shutting the drawer more carefully, he scooted back over to the desk and uncapped a red pen, setting the cup down and pulling a clipboard with a sheet of paper on it in front of him. He checked next to Kira's name in the "Monday" box, then signed his initials beside the check and handed Kira the cup. "You know the drill. Swallow and show."

Kira took the cup and fished the two pills from it, tipping his head back and swallowing both at the same time. Then he leaned forward to meet Chandra halfway across the counter, letting him check inside his mouth to make sure he'd swallowed them. When the inspection was done, Chandra nodded and stood, turning to a water cooler and filling a cup. Smiling again, he handed it to Kira, who downed it all in one gulp and sighed. "There you go. Thanks for cooperating."

"Yeah." Kira handed the cup back to Chandra, who threw it away in a paper trash can under the desk, and wiped his mouth. "Aren't I always?"

"Heh," Chandra chuckled. "You'd be surprised at the chaos I've gotten today with duty. It's worse than usual." He paused, frowning as he studied something on a second clipboard, flipping a few pages and then tossing the clipboard into a far desk corner. "I swear, that Allster girl is out to get me."

Kira shook his head. "I wouldn't be surprised. Fllay's got a taste for revenge, even if you haven't done anything." He rubbed the back of his neck. "She still hasn't forgiven me for not saving her father." His eyes grew distant for only a second before returning to their normal shine, and he shrugged. "Well, anyway. I'll see you later, I guess. Tell the doc I said _hi_."

He walked away, and Chandra smiled slightly, not missing the stress on the last word. He knew about Kira's dislike of the older woman; he feared her a little, himself, even if she was only two years older than him. Frankly, he'd been surprised when he had come to fill out an application for volunteering and found her working the med's office. Lieutenant (not anymore, he kept having to remind himself) Badgiruel had never struck him as the type to work in any kind of office, let alone one in a medical institution; he'd always seen her as more of the military type and had always figured that if she made it out of the war alive she'd become an army commander or something like that.

Chandrasat back down, the smile widening. She hadn't changed, despite working here. On the Archangel, her word had been command, strict as all get-out, and it was still like that with these kids. Always a no-nonsense woman, even though she got nonsense half the time anyway from those who were either scared into defiance or just plain stupid.

More often than not, it was the former, Chandra decided, folding his hands, and every time she was protested against, she came down with the promise of pain in one hand and the plastic cup in the other, a glare of death in her eyes.

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A/N: _End of Chapter Three. Natarle wasn't all that hard to write off, surprisingly. I thought I'd have much more of a difficult time writing her properly. Still, she might be a little OOC. I don't know. Yes, Chandra is a real character, not one I made up. The information on him came from Kimley, however, is a character I made up. He won't play much of a role in this story; he really only hangs around to play cards with Sai in this chapter, as far as I know. He may be briefly mentioned in later chapters, but we'll get there eventually. Until next time!_


	4. Journal

A/N: _Chapter four, a bit later than usual. I have to warn you, not a whole lot happens in this chapter. It may not be as good as the others, either, because I've had a rough week and May is crammed with dates for school. Exams are coming up...the horror! Hope I'll do well, but that's my problem. In the mean time, enjoy chapter four. Any and all reviews will be welcomed and very much appreciated (unless they're flames, in which case they'll just be taken as constructive criticism). Thank you for reading!_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam SEED, sadly, nor do I own any of the characters. My house would be insane if I owned the SEED boys...

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_July 30_

There wasn't enough time for me to write last night or the night before, which upsets me. I love writing, it's my way out, you know that. You've always known that.

...look at me, writing these things down as though you're a real person beside me. It's too bad you aren't; I would rather enjoy having someone else in this room. How sad, that I'm treating you like a person and not what you really are, a journal.

I discovered today that silence is black and white. We had a group session where the four of us (Kimley, Sai, Tolle, and I) all were under the same instructor. It was Mr. Rimms this time; I think he's usually Kimley's instructor. We walked into the room and found him sitting there at his desk, waiting on us. It was sort of creepy. He took us to the Expression Room and had us set up easels with stretched canvases. We had to get water in those big yogurt containers, and choose three different brushes from the mug. He made us get paper towels, too, so we could get excess water out of our brushes, and then he told us to paint what we were feeling.

I painted a landscape scene, a stormy field, and Mr. Rimms said that it was really well done, although I think I could have done better. Kimley painted a bunch of blue and purple, and Tolle painted some kind of family portrait that reminded the rest of us of our own families. I think he cried, too; I remember when we presented our paintings at the end he had a track of the green paint on his face washed away.

Sai's painting is how I discovered that silence is black and white. He didn't say anything during the entire time he worked, which nobody found surprising, although Mr. Rimms tried to get him to say something by asking him questions about his painting. Sai painted some kind of face, using all neutral shades. Black, gray, and white. There was a little bit of muted blue in there, too, but not much. The person in the portrait looked sad, and sort of resigned, and he had long hair that was blowing in a wind or something. It was beautiful. I told him so and he just gave me a faint smile, sad like the person in the picture.

I think maybe it was him.

The rumors have started up again, and they're more fierce than ever. I'm sure by now it's spread through the entire institute, if it hadn't before. Everyone I know is convinced that they're true. Except Sai; I don't know what he thinks because he never talks. It's sad, in a way. Does he not talk because he thinks nobody appreciates his words?

I would appreciate them. I don't think I've ever told him that. I really should. . .someday. I will. I promise.

The new kid should be here soon, if the rumors are true. They've been going around for a while now, nonstop. Everyone knows, but they keep getting reminded.

I really hope they're true. I don't think I can take not having someone to talk to other than Mir and Tolle for much longer. Please, let them be true. . .

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A/N: _No, Mr. Rimms does not exist in the anime, or in the manga. He's a character I made up, and he doesn't play any special part in this story._


	5. Late Night Arrival

A/N: _Wow, I managed to write two chapters in the same day. That's a remarkable accomplishment for me, especially considering all the stuff I have to do. More stuff happens in this chapter than what happened in the last chapter; mostly because the last chapter was another of Kira's journal entries. But I won't keep you; enjoy chapter five! Reviews are very appreciated and very helpful. Thank you for reading!_

**Disclaimer: **I, sadly, do not own Gundam SEED or any of its characters. I simply heart Nicol.

* * *

_August 1_

It's really early in the morning right now. Like, way earlier than I've ever woken up. I think it's around three in the morning right now. I can't really tell for certain; the LED light on my watch is broken and they banned the use of clocks in the rooms after some kid tried to kill himself with one. We won't go there.

I don't know for sure why I'm up right now writing this. I couldn't sleep when they called lights out, even though I tried. I'm considering going out to ask the Lieutenant if he can get me something to help me sleep; I don't like being awake at this time of night. It makes me really uncomfortable, because I know I should be asleep and I would be, and it makes me wonder why I'm not.

I really should go ask Lieutenant Fraga, but I won't. I might encounter someone else that I don't want to see. Like an orderly that isn't him. I'd get in so much trouble if they knew that I was awake, and writing, no less. Yeah, that would definitely get me in deep dutch with Miss Ramius.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't mind the Headmaster at all; she's actually a rather caring person, when it comes to life here at the Institution and the patients. It's just that

* * *

--Footsteps, coming closer to his room. Mouthing a curse, Kira shut the journal as quietly as he could and shoved it under his mattress, along with the pen. A fearful glance at the door allowed him better hearing of the voices that had stopped in the corridor _right outside his room_. Oh, geez, if they discovered him awake. . . .

He flung himself down onto the bed and pulled the covers up, turning over and closing his eyes just as the doorknob rattled and clicked. Kira forced his breathing to even out as the door swung open, feigning sleep.

The voices were quieter now, whispers in the darkness, and Kira frowned lightly, listening hard. One of the voices was soft, and tired, almost shy, and it was young, which surprised Kira. The second was an older voice; male, because it had a deeper baritone, and even with the whispers Kira knew it was Fraga. He bit his lip to keep from asking for the sleeping pills.

"Wait just a minute; I want to make sure he wasn't disturbed." Kira willed himself to relax as the gentle click-click-click of the dress shoes Fraga was required by code to wear crossed over to him. A feather-light touch descended on his hair for a brief moment, pulling a few strands back so Fraga could see his face. Kira suspected that the orderly knew he wasn't asleep, but the hand left anyway and the footsteps clicked away to the other side of the room. The whispering resumed, most of it done by said orderly.

"All right, you can come in."

Softer footsteps; it sounded like tennis shoes, or something. They squeaked once and Kira heard whoever they belonged to take a sharp breath, knew that they were looking cautiously at him. He didn't stir, and the footsteps continued, stopping shortly thereafter.

"I share a room with that guy over there, right?" the tired voice whispered, and Kira recognized it to be male, as well.

"Yeah. Your side of the room is over here; that side of the room is his. You'll meet him in the morning, I'm sure, and he can give you a tour of the place so you get a feel for where everything is."

"Okay. How do I know where my side ends and his side starts?"

Fraga chuckled softly. "That's for you two to decide." A pause, the only sound being the brief thud of some kind of bag being set down, followed by another. Then, quietly, "I'm sure you two will get along; Yamato is likeable enough. Oh, and I didn't catch your name . . . "

"Oh! Um . . . Nicol. Nicol Amarfi."

"Nicol, ah. I'm Mwu la Fraga. Yamato calls me Lieutenant, from back when I used to work with him. I'll let him tell you about that, if he so chooses. You're welcome to call me by my last name, or use Kira's nickname, whichever is fine with me as long as you don't switch up."

"All right. Er . . . thanks, Lieutenant, for showing me to my room. I could never have found it on my own."

"Sure thing, kid. The normal wake-up time is at six; breakfast starts at seven. In the evening, lights out is called at nine-thirty. The orderlies roam the halls then, and you could get in big trouble if they come in and you're not at least pretending to be asleep. Got it?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Good. I suggest you get some sleep, now; you're new, so I'm quite sure they'll slide on letting you sleep in just this once." Obviously Nicol must have made a face of some sort, because Fraga quickly added, "Of course, they're not going to come in and beat you over the head with a rule book or anything if you _don't _get up at six, it's just a basic time schedule. Makes the orderlies feel better about having to do so much."

". . .oh. Okay. Good night, then."

"Night, kid."

Click-click-click. Kira held his breath as the door shut and listened quietly for a few minutes afterwards.

There was a low groan from the other side of the room. Kira heard a quiet creak as Nicol sat down on the bed, and feet shuffled as the boy took off his shoes and pulled the covers back to lie down.

Nicol's knee had just landed on the bed when Kira let out his breath in a faint sigh and turned over onto his back, still not daring to open his eyes. As Nicol crawled into bed, it squeaked once and then stopped protesting at the weight, rustling as the covers were pulled up.

A soft, "Goodnight," and then silence blanketed the room. Kira wondered if the word had been meant for him. Maybe the kid was just that lonely. Did he whisper a goodnight to himself every night? Nicol. . . .

With a quiet sigh, Kira shifted under the covers and fell asleep, dreamless for the first night in a long while.

* * *

A/N: _Yes, I did mean to leave off the rest of the last sentence in the journal entry. It's supposed to be that way because Kira stopped writing when he heard the footsteps, and put it away because he didn't want to get caught. Hopefully you caught that? _


	6. Greetings Of The Mellow Kind

A/N: _Whoo, sixth chapter! I'm on a roll this week. Either that or I've just gotten really bored with what I'm _supposed _to be doing, and I'm doing this instead. Your pick. Either way, you get a chapter! Yay! I don't have much to say about this one, except Nicol finally meets everyone. For better or for worse, that is the question. (I'm not fond of that quote... "To be or not to be, that is the question." Modifying it is much more fun...) Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd tell me what you think. _

**Disclaimer:** I, sadly, do not own Gundam SEED or anything in it. See? That is sad. It's every fan's dream. -sigh-

* * *

When Kira awoke the next morning, the sun had just risen and was casting pale rays of muted oranges, pinks and golds through the window. He blinked up at the white ceiling for a good while, not bothering to move about until he was sure that his brain had caught up with his body. Then the comforter, dyed in varying shades of grays and muted purples, rustled as he stretched and sighed. 

The clock read 6:20 when he got out of bed. Vaguely he wondered what time he'd actually fallen asleep the night before; then he decided it really didn't matter and he started across the room in socked feet, taking care not to slip on the linoleum.

That was another thing that confused him; why would you put linoleum in a bedroom? It was cold, and hard, and didn't create that feeling of warmth and comfort that you would normally get if you were at– oh right, he wasn't home.

But back to the matter at hand.

Kira heard a bird chirp from somewhere outside and found himself wondering what kind of bird it was, the song was so pretty. It reminded him of Athrun, and he found himself also wondering, not for the first time, how the boy was.

"Heh. Inquisitive today, aren't we?" he murmured to himself, an amused smile coming across his face.

He tensed, however, at the sound of something rustling, and froze in mid-step halfway across the room. Breath catching in his throat, he glanced over at the room's other bed. The one that he never slept in. The one that nobody had ever slept in since he had been assigned this room.

Except there was someone sleeping in it now.

Kira blinked, surprised at first until he remembered the conversation that had occurred last night between the Lieutenant and whomever was occupying that particular bed now. _Nicol_ _Amarfi_, his brain told him, and he remembered with a faint smile. Ah, yes, that was it.

"Amarfi," Kira murmured under his breath, frowning, and then regretted it as a soft mumble-moan came from the occupied bed and said person shifted under the covers. Kira waited until he was sure that he wasn't going to wake before slowly letting out his breath and continuing the rest of the way across the room. As quietly as possible, he eased open the closet door, picked out an outfit, eased the door shut, got dressed, and then left, shutting the entrance to the room almost silently behind him and thanking whoever had watched out for him for this long that the hinges on the doors were oiled and in well-working order.

Then without a word he quickly and quietly made his way down the hall towards the double doors that signified the cafeteria and slipped inside to search for his friends.

Back in the dorm room, a green-haired fifteen-year-old boy opened his amber eyes wearily and stared thoughtfully at the door that had just closed. A few minutes later, he frowned and turned onto his back, mimicking the position Kira had been in when he awoke and staring at the ceiling. He sighed, his voice soft.

"Unfamiliar ceiling..."

* * *

"Morning, Kira." 

"Hey, Kira!"

"Kira!"

He stopped walking as the sound of footsteps pattered down the hallway towards him. Miriallia flew past him, twirling and coming to a stop with her face three inches from his nose. She was beaming brightly, and her ensemble today consisted of a yellow, white-dotted dress that came down to her knees, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and white canvas tennis shoes on her feet.

"Hi, Kira!" Miriallia greeted him cheerfully, her smile becoming larger at seeing him. She seemed especially cheerful this morning. When Kira pointed it out, she replied happily, bouncing on the balls of her feet with her hands clasped behind her. "You haven't heard, then? We've got a new addition. A guy this time; around our age, from what I've heard. Oh Kira, I'm so surprised you didn't know!"

Kira decided not to say anything; it might not be the same boy, after all.

They started walking again, towards the serving line and then to their tables. Miriallia chatted amiably the whole time, finally restating that her shock that Kira hadn't found out about the "new kid."

"Why's it such a surprise?" Kira replied calmly, sitting down beside Sai and giving him a smile, which was returned with equal passion. "I mean, Fllay's usually the one to keep all the gossip."

"He's got a point, Mir," Tolle agreed, nodding as he stuck his fork into a helping of raspberry jello. "Fllay does usually have all the information on everyone." There was a loud snapping noise as he moved the fork, and all eyes fell to it. Tolle blinked, startled, and held up half of the plastic fork, then blinked again and looked back down at the prongs still wiggling around in the jello. "Um. . ."

Shaking with silent laughter, Sai handed him another plastic fork, and none of them touched their jello for the rest of the meal.

* * *

It was around lunchtime. Kira wandered the halls, not exactly bored but not really entertained, either. The day was moving slowly, every minute seeming more like half an hour, although the sun was shining brightly outside and the birds were still singing. 

He turned his attention inward, to his thoughts, letting his feet carry him wherever they wanted to go–skip the sixth wing because that was restricted to him–because he knew almost the entire place like he knew his own journal. Today wasn't a particularly troubling day, so there wasn't much to think about, and Kira found himself centering his focus around the arrival of Nicol Amarfi.

_I remember that name, somehow. Maybe from the war? I can't think of anywhere else I would know it, except maybe in a book or magazine. Maybe on television, if the kid was lucky. He sounded younger than me, though, I don't know how he could have been in my age group. _

_Nicol. . .Amarfi. . .hmm. Maybe next time I hear from Athrun–_

That was where he stopped, not because it hurt but because he'd just run into something. As he blinked, startled from his trance, Kira realized that it was not a something but a someone that he'd collided with, and that that someone was now on the ground.

"Oh geez, I'm so sorry!" he amended quickly, reaching out a hand to help the boy up. Green hair caught his eye as the other person rose to his level. "I didn't mean to, I was just so focused. Sorry."

"No, no; it's fine," the boy murmured, rubbing his eyes. They were a beautiful amber color. "Really. I. . .guess maybe I should pay a little more attention to my surroundings, huh?" Then he smiled, and his look was of perfect innocence.

"Ah. . .yeah, maybe," Kira said, nodding in acquiescence. He held out a hand. "I'm Kira Yamato. You are. . .?"

The boy took his hand and shook it once, then pulled away, obviously not one for close contact with people he didn't know well. "Erm. . .Nicol, Nicol Amarfi." A sudden light entered his eyes and when he next spoke, his voice held dawning realization. "Wait a minute, you're the guy I'm rooming with!"

"Heh, yeah, I guess so," Kira replied, laughing. "Good to know. I guess you're the guy everyone's been talking about."

Nicol frowned. "Talking about?" he repeated. Kira nodded.

"Mm-hmm. I'm sure by now everyone in the second wing knows you're here," he said, then added as an afterthought, "That's the wing we're in, where we sleep and stuff. There are ten." A pause. "Say, what are you doing way down here, anyway? The cafeteria's back toward the entrance, and so is the rec room."

"Oh. Well," Nicol scratched his head uncertainly, frowning a little as he glanced around, "I guess I was just. . .looking around a little bit. I might have gotten. . .a little lost along the way?" He smiled helplessly, clearly embarrassed.

"It's all right, but we shouldn't be down here near the sixth wing, not really," Kira responded, taking the boy's hand and leading him back towards the front. Startled, Nicol stumbled along with him, blushing a little at such familiar behavior. "Since we're in the second, and all. . .and because lunch starts soon." Suddenly he whirled around, nearly causing Nicol to collide with him again. "Hey. Where were you this morning at breakfast?"

The demanding tone made Nicol back off a bit, uncertainty in his eyes. "Well I. . .got here really late last night, so I guess I slept in," he said hesitantly. "Did I do something wrong?"

_Yeah, no kidding, you slept in, _Kira thought. Still, he saw the slight fear in Nicol's wide eyes, the horror that maybe he was going to get in trouble for breaking a strict rule or something. Quickly, he shook his head. "No! It's just, ah. . .you missed breakfast, and that's not good. As plain as the meals are here, you need all three to stay healthy."

Which, of course, wasn't really true. But he wasn't about to tell Nicol that.

"Oh," the amber-eyed boy replied. "Okay, I see. The orderly that showed me to the room last night told me about that kind of thing, but I guess I forgot temporarily." He cracked a small smile.

Kira began leading him again, being a little more careful this time. "Don't worry. After a week, you'll have the whole thing down pat, from the dust bunnies in the ceiling to the scuff marks on the floor."

"Dust bunnies?" Nicol blinked, looking up at the ceiling. "Up there?"

"Well maybe," Kira said indifferently, and Nicol gasped as he was jerked along again. "I think so. Ah, here we are. The cafeteria."

Nicol stopped a few feet away from the doors, gazing at them, and Kira turned back, blinking. "Is. . .does the food taste bad?" he asked skeptically, still watching the doors.

"Nah." Kazui smiled, coming up behind them, and Nicol froze briefly as a hand landed on his back. Kuzzey smiled at him, moving around to wave at Kira and missing the way Nicol relaxed at the removal of contact. "So, this is the new kid, huh? My name is Kazui Bushirk."

Nicol nodded, smiling faintly. "Nicol Amarfi, nice to meet you."

"He's my roommate," Kira added to Kuzzey. "He wasn't at breakfast, though; slept in. That's why you didn't meet him earlier."

Kuzzey frowned. "That means he skipped out on pills, too? Man, lucky." He grinned, then disappeared inside the doors.

"Pills?" Nicol blinked.

Kira nodded. "They aren't for everyone," he added hastily, when the other boy paled a shade. "Some people get liquids to drink. Others don't get anything at all. It all depends on the severity of your condition."

Nicol nodded mutely.

"Most pills can't be taken on an empty stomach," Kira continued, with a matter-of-fact tone. "You're supposed to eat a meal beforehand so that you don't get sick. And trust me, it's better to eat the meal and then take the pill than to just take the pill."

Another nod. Some of the color had returned to Nicol's face. "Oh. I see."

"Yeah. Like I said, though, it all depends." Kira paused, then turned toward the doors. "Come on, then, we've got to take the pills or whatever after this meal, too."

When they had gotten their food and finally sat down, proper introductions were made to the others, who all greeted Nicol warmly. He was a little confused when Sai just waved, butKira calmly explained that because Sai never spoke vocally, he communicated through gestures, writing, and emotions or looks. Nicol understood.

They were almost done with their meals when Miriallia sprung the question of, "So, what are you in here for?" in a cheerful voice. Nicol stopped, one hand poised with the fork halfway to his mouth, stunned for a moment. When he finally processed the question, he slumped a little, lowering his fork to shift around the pasta noodles.

"Ah. . .Nicol?" Tolle inquired, concerned, as they all studied him. Kira set down his fork slowly.

Nicol blinked and then closed his eyes, raising a forkful of pasta to his mouth again. "I don't want to talk about it," he said simply, and then began chewing.

"But. . ." Mir began, stopping when Sai placed a hand on her arm and shook his head. "Oh. Okay."

They all politely ignored the way Nicol's voice had cracked on the last word, but worried a little nonetheless, sharing the remainder of lunch with very little talk. It seemed everyone was concentrating on something else.

Sai was the first and only one to catch Nicol's eye as they all stood up quietly to dispose of their trays. He offered a long, meaningful look. _It's fine if you're not comfortable talking about it yet. We're here if you ever need to._

Nicol studied him for a long moment, and then as he turned his eyes lit up with understanding. Nodding, he returned Sai's look with a genuine, kind smile.

* * *

A/N: _Well, there's another chapter! I hope it was all right, I did my best to make everyone seem in-character despite the AU setting. Don't worry, I promise you'll find out what Nicol's in for. I think the part with Tolle and his fork was pretty funny, although when I first wrote it, it had to do with mashed potatoes. I figured that was more of a dinner food, though, and you certainly wouldn't have it for breakfast (at least, I wouldn't, but who knows)! Anyway, that was a little bit of humor to break up the monotony, and next chapter there will be some humor as well! It involves a rather unsuspecting Nicol playing the victim of a sad, sad dinner joke. You'll see! _

_**Much thanks to my readers and reviewers, it's all very appreciated!**_


	7. Sarcastic Jester

A/N: _Another chapter for you guys. I'm sorry it took me so long to get out! I won't give anything away, but the dinner joke does come into play here. I hope it's never been played on any of you...and hopefully none of you will use it on anyone else, ne? Haha, well. _

**Disclaimer: **I, sadly, don't own Gundam SEED.

_Now then, I give you the chapter. Reviews are welcomed and greatly appreciated, as always. Special thanks to that one reviewer that's stuck with me every chapter so far! Apologies to anyone I miss; there aren't many.

* * *

_

_August 1_

So, the new kid showed up last night. I didn't show any emotion on the outside, but on the inside, I was thanking every god that ever watched out for me.

His name is Nicol Amarfi. He's got light green hair and very nice amber eyes. He seems a little bit shy, and I still don't know much about him (then again, he doesn't know much about me, either). For some reason, his name sounds familiar to me, very familiar. I wonder if it has anything to do with the...the war. Even so, we seem to be getting along all right. I don't know what he's in for, either, but I'll find out. I swear.

He hasn't met everyone yet, and I'm a little worried about that. Yzak and Dearka are...well, let's just say they aren't exactly the best guys to hang around. Yzak's pushy and standoffish, and Dearka likes to play practical jokes a lot. Although I can get along much better with Dearka than I can with Yzak...after all, Dearka seems to at least hold some bit of compassion in his heart, and at least he cares when something goes wrong. Put simply, Yzak's cold-hearted. Nicol's hardly like either of them, and I wonder if they'll ever get along at all. I suppose with a bit of work they could, but Yzak would have to learn how to be at least a little bit nicer (which certainly couldn't hurt the rest of us) and Dearka would have to find room in his heart for more than just Yzak (if I haven't told you yet, they're rather close in a dysfunctional sort of way).

Athrun still hasn't come yet, or called, or written. I'm trying my hardest not to get wired up about this Friday...two days from now. I haven't told Nicol about that, either...he'll find out soon enough. I hope Athrun stops by, I miss him a lot.

Well...we'll see.

* * *

Kira glanced up as he heard rustling across the room. Blinking, he looked over at the other bed, in time to see his new roommate roll over to face the wall with a mumble. _Does he talk in his sleep?, _he wondered for a moment.

No–he was sitting up now, rubbing his eyes as the covers fell down to his waist. After a minute, he blinked and looked over at Kira sleepily, mumbling, "G'morning..."

_Nope, _Kira reaffirmed. As Nicol busied himself with getting out of bed, Kira made sure he wasn't looking and then turned back a page in his journal, writing quickly:

_August 1: Nicol Amarfi does not talk in his sleep. _

"Hey!"

Kira jumped and shut his book quickly, hiding it under the mattress just as fast and then straightening up with a smile. "Er..y-yes?"

"You know, it's 6:40. We should probably go so we don't miss breakfast and medicine," Nicol told him, turning to pull on a cotton shirt and some jeans. He looked odd in jeans, for some reason, but Kira couldn't place why.

Still, he didn't seem to have noticed the notebook. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Kira stood up and made his way over to his amber-eyed friend, following him out the door.

"Kira! Nicol! Kiiiiiiraaaaaaaa!" came a familiar squeal from down the hallway. Since Kira had stopped, Nicol stopped, too, and gave him a puzzled look.

"We have to wait for Miriallia," Kira explained, and Nicol's lips formed a silent, "oh."

When Miriallia finally came bounding up, both boys greeted her warmly. Today she wore a light green short-sleeved t-shirt and white cargo pants. Her hair was up in a traditional ponytail. She beamed brightly at them, all sunshine.

"Hi, Kira! Hi, Nicol!" she greeted cheerfully.

Nicol gave her a smile, and Kira replied, "Good morning, Mir. Nice color choices."

Miriallia beamed at him again. "Aren't they? I was reorganizing my closet. Oh, come on, we'll be late for breakfast." She grabbed Kira's hand and, before he could protest, dragged him along in the direction of the mess hall, laughing.

Surprised, Nicol stood still for a moment before realizing the others were leaving him, and then he hurried after them at a run, calling, "Guys, wait up!"

* * *

The day passed for the most part uneventfully, if one didn't count the cultural session that Kira and the others had that day. They were supposed to be sketching something that described the emotion they had felt most during the week, but Miriallia decided to reorganize the pens according to color, and when the orderly tried to get her to stop, the pens exploded all over him and colored his stark-white uniform. Finally, Fraga had given up and dismissed them all early, explaining that they would try again next week–with _pencils_, mind you, and dulled points, of course. When he had walked out of the room after the others, looking terribly dismayed and with blue and pink dripping from the ends of his hair, several of the orderlies had just started laughing.

When it came time for dinner, everyone filed into the mess hall as usual and got trays full of food, finding their usual seating spots with their usual people.

Nicol was the last to join the table with Kira, Miriallia, Sai, and Tolle. He took his seat and started in on his chicken quietly, enjoying it. Throughout most of dinner he remained silent, only listening to the conversation between his friends and putting in a quiet comment whenever Miriallia prompted him to say something. He didn't mind speaking, but the conversation wasn't exactly one he would normally have gotten into.

Sai seemed to understand this, and he gently nudged Kira's shoulder. Blinking at him, Kira followed Sai's slight gesture toward Nicol and also understood. He led Miriallia into a different conversation.

"Ah, you know, Mir...next time you try organizing the pens, make sure nobody's close..." Kira took a bite of his green beans, chewing thoughtfully.

Mir giggled. "Oh Kira! They were out of order, I had to do it! It's not my fault Mr. Mwu got in the way!"

Sai raised an eyebrow.

"Um, but you aren't supposed to shake the pens to get them to work..." Tolle put in hesitantly. "I mean, you can just scribble on paper or something, after all...why were you shaking them in the first place?"

"I was not _shaking _them," Miriallia corrected, huffing. "I was _dancing_."

"Oh, and aren't you just the most special thing ever," a new voice purred from behind her. Miriallia flinched a little as long, pale arms draped over her shoulders and chest.

"U-um...hello, Yzak," Miriallia said quietly, shifting uncomfortably in his hold.

Kira frowned, tense, and set down his fork. "Hey lay off, Yzak," he said seriously, eyeing the older boy and his companion next to him. "You too, Dearka, go away."

The blond boy raised his hands in protest, smiling. "Oh, oh, relax. I'm not doing anything."

Yzak pulled away and flipped his silver hair from his eyes, regarding them all coolly. His blue eyes narrowed when he spotted Nicol, a faint smile curling his lips. "Oh?" He walked over behind the boy, leaning down to study him almost curiously. "So, is this the new kid I've heard so much about, huh?"

Nicol kept his eyes on his plate and tried to keep the hand holding his fork steady as well. The voice of the person beside him sounded terribly familiar, and so did the names of the silver and blond haired boys. Nicol swallowed hard.

"Pretty," Yzak murmured to himself, and Nicol couldn't stop from shivering. This person seemed very cold and unfeeling...

_Yzak leave him alone, _Sai scratched on a piece of paper, which he shoved at the blue-eyed boy. Yzak read it and looked up with disgust at the mute boy, but the warning in Sai's eyes was not at all distorted by his glasses. The others were frowning as well.

"Maybe they're right, Yzak," Dearka said, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging. "You know what would happen if we caused trouble."

Yzak's smirk turned into a sneer. "Tch. A week with orderly Dionma, the head of our section. Yeah, I know." He was silent for a long moment, studying the back of the head of the green-haired boy. "Say, kid."

"Mm..." Nicol paused uncertainly in his chewing, blinking and lowering his fork.

Yzak leaned close, smirking again. "Do you know what they put in those beans and rice?" He paused a moment to let the question settle in, then whispered lowly in Nicol's ear: "_Cockroaches._"

Nicol choked and started coughing, eyes wide as he hunched over the table. Sai stood and came around the table to hand him his glass of water, and Tolle whacked him on the back a few times. Dearka was frowning at the act, and Yzak was laughing so hard he had to lean on the table.

"Dearka did you see that? The expression on his face...it was so funny!" Yzak dissolved back into laughter, and some of the kids from other tables glanced over and began whispering. The whole cafeteria became quieter.

"I'm absolutely giddy," Dearka muttered, turning away. "Come on, Yzak, let's go."

Nicol finally got a hold on himself and slumped against the table, staring at Kira. "He...he's not serious, is he?" he panted.

Kira shook his head, glaring at Yzak. "No. He's not," he replied sternly.

"Oh..." Nicol breathed in relief, pushing his tray away and resting his head on one arm. "That was creepy...I think I'm going to be sick." Sai rubbed his shoulder sympathetically, shooting a glare at Yzak and Dearka.

"Yzak," Dearka muttered in exasperation, rolling his eyes. "Come on, I said."

"What's going on here?" Two orderlies walked up to the table, looking stern. One of them was Fraga. The other was a man of equal height who looked to be around the same age, with long brown hair tied back and brown eyes.

"Sir Dionma," Dearka murmured respectfully, turning. "Yzak..."

"Yzak Jule." Yzak stopped laughing and looked up at the brown-eyed orderly from beneath his silver hair.

"...Sir Dionma," he muttered quietly, not bothering to disguise his disgust for the man.

Jan Dionma looked down at the defiant silver-haired boy, his face a blank mask that hid every emotion. His voice, however, held tired resignation and quiet authority at the same time. It was to be expected, as he was the moderator for the part of the ward that Yzak's room was in. Dearka's room was in the same ward as Kira's, Nicol's, and Sai's, being that he shared Sai's room, and yet the orderly for Yzak somehow managed to end up watching over him as well, being that the two were so often together.

"Yzak, I do believe your lunch period is over. If I'm not mistaken, you have a psych evaluation next, and you're not off to a good start. I would suggest you go and prepare yourself."

Yzak straightened, scoffing, and turned, crossing his arms and scowling deeply as he started away. "Tch. Whatever. Dearka, come on. We have better things to do with our time than waste it around these idiots."

Dearka blinked, startled, and then frowned, jogging after the fast-paced boy. As they left the lunch room with Dionma accompanying them in equally fast strides, the blond called to Yzak, "Ah–hey! Don't you think that's a little harsh, I mean..."

The doors swung shut after them and the sound of chatter continued to fill the room as kids cleared away the remnants of their lunches, having resumed their conversations when the orderlies showed up. Unnoticed observation was okay; listening in with an orderly's presence was not.

Tolle and Miriallia stood and began clearing the trays, stacking them in two piles and then taking them away to throw them in the garbage. Nicol still hadn't moved; Sai and Kira were now on either side of him, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Come on, Nicol, what's up? Yzak couldn't have scared you that badly..." Kira tried hesitantly, sharing a glance with Sai.

From behind them, Fraga cleared his throat, and both boys jumped and turned to look at him curiously. He stepped forward with a sigh.

"I'll take care of it, boys. Run along to your extracurricular activities; perhaps Nicol will join you shortly."

Kira and Sai glanced at each other again and then nodded to the orderly, quietly taking their leave. Fraga watched them go and then went to the green-haired boy, setting a hand on his shoulder and bending down to look into his amber eyes. "Hey, kid," he sighed, "Lunch is over, come on. You have to go to your activities or back to your room." He blinked when Nicol abruptly stood and stepped away from the table, and he rose to his feet to look at the boy expectantly. "Which will it be?"

Again to Fraga's surprise, Nicol sniffed slightly and rubbed his eyes with a sleeve. He'd been crying...?

"I understand," the amber-eyed boy said quietly, starting away. "I'm going to go back to my room, I guess."

Fraga paused. Something about the boy...He followed him to the doors, catching him just outside the cafeteria with a hand on his shoulder. "Nicol." The single word held his question.

Nicol stopped almost automatically, then slowly turned to face him. He smiled slightly. "It's nothing, I'm all right. I just...miss home, that's all. Home, and...and my piano." He bit his lip and looked down at the floor slightly. "I can't play it now, like I could before. Like I could...before..."

Suddenly he shook his head and turned, walking away quickly, and Fraga let him go, staring after the boy. He realized now what was so strange about the boy, so nostalgic, and it made something inside of him shudder and curl up into a little ball. His eyes widened in disbelief. He'd overheard Kira and his friend Athrun talking once, and it was the same thing...

Mwu la Fraga closed his eyes, chuckling to himself. "Heh. Does Kira...even realize it? Does he even know who his roommate is...?"

_The famous young pianist...the one he was said to have killed.

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A/N: _Aaah, but what a sneaky ending. It's not really a cliffhanger, but it's still just as bad, I suppose, ne? Hehe...but, Yzak and Dearka have finally come into the picture! Oh, and what an awful joke that was for Yzak to play...I originally had it written down on a piece of paper, but since I've lost that paper I had to improvise and so it's probably not as funny as I said it would be. Of course, something like that really shouldn't be funny at all, but...eh, you get the picture. Review, and I'll really try to get the next chapter up sooner than this one was–no promises, though..._


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